From "More" Magazine

I read this this morning and cracked up:

MIDLIFE STRESS-STUFFED CABBAGE

• 2 sets of aging parents, rapidly deteriorating
• 1-3 (or 5) wise!@# teenagers, or more in blended families, growing up alarmingly fast
• Escalating auto insurance rates
• Way too many college applications at any given time
• Inadequate college savings amounts
• Life-sucking jobs, yours, his, or both
• Enough wisdom to recognise all the mistakes you've made over the years
• Not enough wisdom to correct them
• Large cabbage leaves, as needed
• Olives, peppers, debt, and despair, for topping

1. Combine the first 8 problems (and you can use up any others that are rotting in your pantry). Pulverize into a pounding headache.

Stuff the cabbage leaves and, while performing this tedious task, think about doing rebellious things you did when you yourself were a wise!@# teenager, like getting some extra piercings or hitching a ride to Guatemala.

Top with olives, peppers, debt and despair and bake until everything and everyone has a complete meltdown. Serve with a flaming temper.

from "Secret Recipes for the Modern Wife," Fireside Publishing, copyright 2009 by Nava Atlas.

xoxox

Apple Sausage Quiche

This is a recipe I've adapted to my own use. I use the basics from a recipe I found online from the 1801 First Inn in Napa, CA:

Apple Sausage Quiche

One package chicken & apple sausage

2 Granny Smith apples

3/4 cup shredded cheddar cheese

4 Tbsps. brown sugar

4 Tbsps. butter

1/2 chopped onion

2 cups milk

4 eggs

1 cup baking mix (Bisquick, Jiffy, or your own)

Cut up your sausage into bite-size pieces, and dice the two apples. You can leave the peel on if you like, or peel and core them and then dice them up.

Melt the butter over medium heat. Saute the onions until translucent, about 4-5 minutes. Add the sausage and sprinkle with brown sugar. Cook it all together about 5 minutes. Add the apples and stir them around just to coat and pick up the flavours, about 2 minutes.

Spray the bottom of a quiche pan with nonstick spray. Place the cooked sausage, onions, and apples in the bottom of the pan. Sprinkle the cheese over the whole thing.

In a blender (or in a bowl with a wire whisk), mix the milk, eggs, and baking mix. Whizz it up until smooth. Pour over the ingredients in the quiche pan.

Bake at 400 degrees until a toothpick or knife inserted in center comes out clean.

Jen's notes:

1. Use buttermilk if you want this really rich. Or skim if you don't need the calories.

2. I always get the chicken-apple sausage at Sam's Club, usually Emeril's or some other brand. Any kind of sausage will do, though.

3. You can use another kind of apple, but the Granny Smith will hold up to the baking the best.

4. If your kids don't like onion, you can use the dried minced variety, and just sprinkle it over the sausage as you cook it. Or add the minced dried onion to your milk and baking mix. Either way works and you still get the flavour without the texture of the actual onion.

rating: 4 stars. Bug loves this and Hunk O Man chows it down.

JB's Panda-monium BD

Birthdays are a VERY big deal around our house. Although gifts are optional, the singing and eating are not. Here's what happened in our kitchen yesterday --

I found this book while doing some grocery shopping last week at Sam's Club. I couldn't get over the photography, and even in frugal times, decided it was worth buying. Babydoll and I stood for probably 10 minutes marveling over each creation.

Everyone helped (except JB) with the making of some Panda cupcakes. I think the making of the cupcakes may have been exceptionally more fun than the eating of them! Malene, our Danish student, proved herself quite the expert at icing. Babydoll swiped her cheeks with icing warpaint, and GB tried to help without being too much of a perfectionist. My philosophy? Hey, it's food -- it's going to be eaten, so just do the best you can.

I highly recommend this book simply because of the fun we had doing it. And check out the Hello Cupcake blog, too -- it's worth it!

Lighting the pandas, who hold black and white candles

The guest of honor as she gets ready to blow them out

Our beloved Malene, Asbjorn, and Sun, Danish exchange-students who did a lot of the work

"This is the best birthday cake yet, Mom."

A reluctantly photographed Marco Polo





GB, who put aside his OCD to help add the ears and arms of the pandas

"Look, Ma, a panda"

Barbie: "OMG, I just ate a panda's head. Does this make me pandaniverous?"

GB has no qualms about definitely being pandaniverous, and babydoll shows off her icing war-paint.


A fabulous time was had by all. I think the best of life happens in the kitchen.

xoxox

Roast Beast

This is your typical Roast Beast. I always do it in a crock pot -- there are as many recipes for it as there are chili or chicken soup. But if you're new to cooking, here's an easy one to remember.

ROAST BEAST

One beef roast, any type -- rump, sirloin, etc. Any old big hunk o' beast.

2-3 onions, quartered

3-4 baking potatoes, quartered

1-2 cloves of garlic, smashed with your hand under a knife and skins removed

a small bag of mini carrots, or about half a bag of carrots, peeled and cut into large chunks

salt

pepper

worcestershire sauce, a couple of good shakes around the pot

red wine, any type, enough to get it good and wet

Put all this into a crock pot and turn on for about 8 hours. If your beef is frozen, you'll need about 12 hours.

If you like gravy, you can take the drippings from the roast, put them in a sauce pan, add about a tablespoon of cornstarch to some water or beef broth (canned), and pour into the saucepan. Simmer until it thickens. Make sure your cornstarch is dissolved in the liquid before adding it to the saucepan.

Jen's notes:

1. I always make this for after church on Sunday, and Hunk O Man loves it.

2. Serve with rolls -- ready-to-serve, or a tube of crescent rolls do nicely.

3. Have the leftover beef on a sandwich the next day with a little mayo. Yummy!

rating: 4 stars. Loved by all.

Oven Fried Chicken

I know, I know -- I've been on a chicken roll lately. But this is some really good stuff, and easy to freeze -- lighter on the calories than regular fried chicken, too --

CRISPY COUNTRY CHICKEN

About 1 cup Miracle Whip salad dressing

1 zipper-top bag full of crushed cornflakes

1/2 cup parmesan cheese

salt and pepper to taste

chicken pieces, enough for your family

Add the parmesan cheese, salt and pepper to the cornflakes so everything is in the zipper-top bag.

Take your chicken pieces, and brush with Miracle Whip. Use your hands or a clean paintbrush.

Drop the "painted" piece of chicken into the bag of cornflake mixture and coat.

Place coated chicken pieces into a 13" x 9" baking dish, or on a cookie sheet.

Bake at 350 degrees until golden brown, about 45-60 minutes.

Jen's notes:

1. I usually use boneless chicken breast or breast tenders for this recipe, since I always have them on hand.

2. You can roll your pieces in a bowl of the cornflake mix if that's easier for you.

3. Mayonnaise also works for this recipe. It makes the chicken very juicy inside.

4. Feel free to add other seasonings to the cornflake mixture as you like --

rating: 4 stars. Everybody likes this unless we've had nothing but chicken all week.

Chicken Crescents

Barbie requests these specifically once in awhile, and if Rose doesn't get one, she's seriously upset. These are a favourite --

CHICKEN CRESCENTS

1 package cream cheese, softened

2 tablespoons butter, softened

2 cups cooked chicken, shredded or cubed

1/4 teaspoon salt

fresh ground pepper to taste

2 tablespoons milk

1 tablespoon chopped onion or minced dried onion flakes

1 tablespoon pimento

1 package of refrigerator crescent rolls

Preheat the oven to 350.

Beat together the cream cheese, butter, chicken, salt, pepper, milk, onion, and pimento to form a pasty filling.

Unroll the crescent roll dough and divide into four squares. Pinch the perforations together. Place a fourth of the chicken filling into each square of dough. Pinch the corners together so that it encloses the chicken mixture.

Bake 20 minutes on an ungreased cookie sheet, or until dough is golden. Serves 4.

Jen's notes:

1. I always use at least two and sometimes three cans of dough for this recipe.

2. I usually use far more than two cups of chicken, too. This is a great recipe for whatever cooked chicken you have leftover from another recipe, no matter how it's flavoured.

3. You can omit the pimento if you don't have it around.

4. I generally add about a tablespoon of shredded cheddar cheese on top of the filling before pinching up the dough corners.

rating: five stars. A Wesner Family fav.

Impossible Pie

Talk about quick and easy! I make this in a variety of ways depending on the veggies I have available. It's just a quiche -- found in virtually every Bisquick Recipe book.

IMPOSSIBLE PIE

1/2 package bacon, cooked, drained, and crumbled

1 cup cheese, any type

About 1 cup frozen veggie, your choice -- broccoli is good

1 small chopped onion

2 cups milk

4 eggs

1 cup baking mix, any type -- even pancake mix will work.

1/2 tsp pepper

Grease a generously sized pie plate by spraying nonstick spray on it.

Sprinkle the bacon, cheese, and frozen veggies in the bottom of the pie plate.

Beat (in a bowl with a whisk) or blend (in a blender) the eggs, onion, milk, eggs, and pepper. Pour over top of the veggies and bacon in the pie plate.

Bake 35-40 minutes at 425 degrees until knife or toothpick inserted in center comes out clean.

Makes 6 servings.

Jen's notes:

1. I've stretched this easily to 8 servings.

2. Use whatever veggies you like -- stir fry, California or Italian blend, etc. Any frozen or fresh veggies will work. Also add in diced peppers or chilis if you like some spiciness.

3. Baking mix is extremely cheap to make yourself -- here's a link to a recipe for Baking Mix.

4. Try sprinkling a little cheese over the top if you like a browned, cheesy crust.

rating: 3 stars. Bug loves this.