Very Funny Stuff

I love British humour. I love spelling things the British way as well. I think my ancestors were British, although I'd have to live either in a British colony in the Caribbean or in Bermuda if I were to actually move to a British place. Can't take all that grey cloudy rain.

Anyway -- I found this on a blog called Cake Wrecks. It is very, very funny. Enjoy!



xoxox

Quick Tip

I make bread about every 2-3 days in our breadmaker. I've done this for years, since it appalls me that the cost of a loaf of bread is $1.00+.

Here's my basic recipe --

1 cup plus 2-3 T water -- enough to fill a one-cup liquid measure all the way to the top
2 eggs
2-3 T. butter
1 tsp. salt
1/4 c. sugar
1/4 c. instant mashed potatoes
1/4 - 1/2 c. instant dried milk
3 c. flour
2 tsp. yeast

The other night I was completely out of eggs AND bread. Instead of running to the store at 11PM, I decided to try and use mayonnaise.

I know. Mayonnaise IN bread? Not ON it?

Well, it worked! My philosophy was this: mayonnaise is basically just eggs and oil. So since these are two things I commonly use in my bread, they worked. In fact, the girls commented that it was really good bread -- and it was. Very moist and soft.

So there you go. If you're out of eggs and your recipe uses both eggs and oil, try using mayonnaise instead. It just might work.

xoxox

Gone, but not Forgotten

I'm still here. I've been crazy busy.

And in the meantime, my sweet, sweet friends here have blessed me again with some starter for Amish Friendship bread.

Now don't get me wrong, I love my sweet friends dearly. I also love their generosity and kindness.

But I'm am really tired of Amish Friendship bread and the goo in a ziplock that has to sit on my counter for a week.

So, this time, instead of making the sweet bread, I found a recipe for actual sourdough bread.

And it is delicious. Try this next time you get some of that starter --

AMISH SOURDOUGH BREAD

1 cup sourdough starter (follow your "Friendship Bread" directions)

1 cup sugar

1/2 cup oil

1 teaspoon salt

1 1/2 cups warm water

6 cups bread flour

Mix all ingredients thoroughly. Oil a bowl and put the dough in it and cover with plastic wrap. Leave to rise overnight.

The next day, punch down and divide into 3 balls. Knead until smooth, and place into 3 oiled loaf pans. Cover with plastic wrap and let rise until doubled.

Bake 350 degrees for 35-40 minutes. Makes 3 loaves.

Jen's notes:

1. I divided the dough into 2 loaves instead of 3. I think this works better.

2. It may take this stuff awhile to rise. I'm used to the quick-rise yeast I always use; this really does take all night or 3-4 hours in a loaf pan.

3. You may need to bake 40-45 minutes; I baked for 35 and the center was doughy. But who cared -- the stuff was DIVINE!

4. I keep the starter in a plastic bowl with a lid instead of in a ziplock. You do have to stir it, but it looks a lot nicer on the counter.

rating: 5 stars. Absolutely delicious.

From "More" Magazine

I read this this morning and cracked up:

MIDLIFE STRESS-STUFFED CABBAGE

• 2 sets of aging parents, rapidly deteriorating
• 1-3 (or 5) wise!@# teenagers, or more in blended families, growing up alarmingly fast
• Escalating auto insurance rates
• Way too many college applications at any given time
• Inadequate college savings amounts
• Life-sucking jobs, yours, his, or both
• Enough wisdom to recognise all the mistakes you've made over the years
• Not enough wisdom to correct them
• Large cabbage leaves, as needed
• Olives, peppers, debt, and despair, for topping

1. Combine the first 8 problems (and you can use up any others that are rotting in your pantry). Pulverize into a pounding headache.

Stuff the cabbage leaves and, while performing this tedious task, think about doing rebellious things you did when you yourself were a wise!@# teenager, like getting some extra piercings or hitching a ride to Guatemala.

Top with olives, peppers, debt and despair and bake until everything and everyone has a complete meltdown. Serve with a flaming temper.

from "Secret Recipes for the Modern Wife," Fireside Publishing, copyright 2009 by Nava Atlas.

xoxox

Apple Sausage Quiche

This is a recipe I've adapted to my own use. I use the basics from a recipe I found online from the 1801 First Inn in Napa, CA:

Apple Sausage Quiche

One package chicken & apple sausage

2 Granny Smith apples

3/4 cup shredded cheddar cheese

4 Tbsps. brown sugar

4 Tbsps. butter

1/2 chopped onion

2 cups milk

4 eggs

1 cup baking mix (Bisquick, Jiffy, or your own)

Cut up your sausage into bite-size pieces, and dice the two apples. You can leave the peel on if you like, or peel and core them and then dice them up.

Melt the butter over medium heat. Saute the onions until translucent, about 4-5 minutes. Add the sausage and sprinkle with brown sugar. Cook it all together about 5 minutes. Add the apples and stir them around just to coat and pick up the flavours, about 2 minutes.

Spray the bottom of a quiche pan with nonstick spray. Place the cooked sausage, onions, and apples in the bottom of the pan. Sprinkle the cheese over the whole thing.

In a blender (or in a bowl with a wire whisk), mix the milk, eggs, and baking mix. Whizz it up until smooth. Pour over the ingredients in the quiche pan.

Bake at 400 degrees until a toothpick or knife inserted in center comes out clean.

Jen's notes:

1. Use buttermilk if you want this really rich. Or skim if you don't need the calories.

2. I always get the chicken-apple sausage at Sam's Club, usually Emeril's or some other brand. Any kind of sausage will do, though.

3. You can use another kind of apple, but the Granny Smith will hold up to the baking the best.

4. If your kids don't like onion, you can use the dried minced variety, and just sprinkle it over the sausage as you cook it. Or add the minced dried onion to your milk and baking mix. Either way works and you still get the flavour without the texture of the actual onion.

rating: 4 stars. Bug loves this and Hunk O Man chows it down.

JB's Panda-monium BD

Birthdays are a VERY big deal around our house. Although gifts are optional, the singing and eating are not. Here's what happened in our kitchen yesterday --

I found this book while doing some grocery shopping last week at Sam's Club. I couldn't get over the photography, and even in frugal times, decided it was worth buying. Babydoll and I stood for probably 10 minutes marveling over each creation.

Everyone helped (except JB) with the making of some Panda cupcakes. I think the making of the cupcakes may have been exceptionally more fun than the eating of them! Malene, our Danish student, proved herself quite the expert at icing. Babydoll swiped her cheeks with icing warpaint, and GB tried to help without being too much of a perfectionist. My philosophy? Hey, it's food -- it's going to be eaten, so just do the best you can.

I highly recommend this book simply because of the fun we had doing it. And check out the Hello Cupcake blog, too -- it's worth it!

Lighting the pandas, who hold black and white candles

The guest of honor as she gets ready to blow them out

Our beloved Malene, Asbjorn, and Sun, Danish exchange-students who did a lot of the work

"This is the best birthday cake yet, Mom."

A reluctantly photographed Marco Polo





GB, who put aside his OCD to help add the ears and arms of the pandas

"Look, Ma, a panda"

Barbie: "OMG, I just ate a panda's head. Does this make me pandaniverous?"

GB has no qualms about definitely being pandaniverous, and babydoll shows off her icing war-paint.


A fabulous time was had by all. I think the best of life happens in the kitchen.

xoxox

Roast Beast

This is your typical Roast Beast. I always do it in a crock pot -- there are as many recipes for it as there are chili or chicken soup. But if you're new to cooking, here's an easy one to remember.

ROAST BEAST

One beef roast, any type -- rump, sirloin, etc. Any old big hunk o' beast.

2-3 onions, quartered

3-4 baking potatoes, quartered

1-2 cloves of garlic, smashed with your hand under a knife and skins removed

a small bag of mini carrots, or about half a bag of carrots, peeled and cut into large chunks

salt

pepper

worcestershire sauce, a couple of good shakes around the pot

red wine, any type, enough to get it good and wet

Put all this into a crock pot and turn on for about 8 hours. If your beef is frozen, you'll need about 12 hours.

If you like gravy, you can take the drippings from the roast, put them in a sauce pan, add about a tablespoon of cornstarch to some water or beef broth (canned), and pour into the saucepan. Simmer until it thickens. Make sure your cornstarch is dissolved in the liquid before adding it to the saucepan.

Jen's notes:

1. I always make this for after church on Sunday, and Hunk O Man loves it.

2. Serve with rolls -- ready-to-serve, or a tube of crescent rolls do nicely.

3. Have the leftover beef on a sandwich the next day with a little mayo. Yummy!

rating: 4 stars. Loved by all.